Patronizing Praise

I truly hate being around those type of people that praise you with patronization.  There’s a way to tell someone you appreciate them without downing everything in life that’s come before.  Ever been around those types of people?

Some of my old bosses were especially bad.  They wouldn’t think much of me, with my long hair.  When I proved them wrong, they’d give me praise, but they’d make sure that they knocked me down first.  It was almost as if they honestly didn’t think my life was much of an accomplishment.



I’ve lived my entire life around ridicule of some format.  I try my best, impress everyone I can, yet still I’m lacking because of something they see that they don’t approve of.  One of my best examples was when I worked with a guy in an axle factory.  The guy was loud, boisterous, but interesting in his own way.  On the side, he would go to fairs and sell peanuts.  So many peanuts.

He had a story about how he got into it.  How he went door to door selling peanuts, how it worked at it really hard.  He decided he was going to give me some life advice when he heard that I was struggling to sell stuff.  After he finished with his big story, and he asked me what I wanted to sell, I told him photography.  He simply got up and walked off.

Its things like that, things that tell me that people have no respect for the things I do, or want, or say, that have made me doubt my place in the world.  Sure, I get real praise from time to time.  A published author telling me my writing is better than theirs....  People looking at my photography and wondering why I’m not making a living selling it....

To some, the way I’ve lived my life, moving from state to state, running from the deathtrap of my childhood home, has been completely wrong.  The way life is done there, you work until you retire, give away your entire life and hope that the final years of your life are worthwhile.

Fact is, times have changed.  Big corporations are trying to do away with 401ks, health benefits, and everything else.  Retirement, by the time I reach that age, will be a thing of the past.  I’ve lived my life in an amazing way, and I’ve honestly enjoyed it, every minute.  Even around those patronizing a-holes that think they lived life better than I have.

There’s a ton more I could have done, wanted to do, but I’ve done more than quite a few people I’ve ever known.  And I’ve lived a life of creative freedom.  My grandmother raised me in an amazing way, and it gave me an outlook on life I will cherish beyond my grave.  Her joy in life, when I was around, was watching me play.  Giving me a free reign on my enjoyment, and seeing what would happen.

In my eyes, I became a ‘man’ in my own eyes when I finally started my own life.  When I realized I wasn’t going back to college and my destiny was somewhere other than Texas.  The biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life was going back there for any length of time.

Maybe praise always comes with a price.  It always seems to in certain places and situations.  Around specific people.  That sad fact of the matter, for every piece of praise I’m given by such people, I bite my tongue holding back a retort.  I find it shameful that anyone would look at anyone and be ashamed of how they lived.  Everyone has problems and issues.  The only one I’ve ever had is those people....  I’ve never done drugs, not addicted to anything, never abused anything, and have lived a life that has inspired me beyond words.  I’ll never need to force myself into a hobby to stay alive, because all I need to enjoy life is the ability to breath.  Everything I’ve willingly surrounded myself with just makes life that much better.

That’s how I know I’ve lived the best life I could.  No matter what praise I’ve been given in life, no matter what undercuts it, I’m happy and you’re not.  Deal with it.