Friday, September 19, 2014

(poem) - The Age of Rust

What is left for us
Those who dwell in the rust

Days pass by and still we persist
Its almost as if, we are still trying to resist

People still call it ‘The Man’
Because its all part of the Machine’s plan

Its rolling and churning
Doing nothing but destroying

Collecting money for itself
Putting all its riches upon the shelf

We all help it along
Even if you do nothing but smoking a bong

Because it feeds off all of us
In one way or another, in god we trust

What hope is there for a better tomorrow
I feel the death of us in my bone’s marrow

It gives me aches and pains
As fear seeps in, destroying memories within my brain

Is the past the thing I remember
Or did I gloss it all over in November?

I stare into the mirror’s reflection
And fear my face’s deep set aggression

For there is nothing but hatred within my eyes
For those that tell all the lies

Because lies are what got us here
Kiss all the rich people’s rears

We are nothing but the cobble stones
That led them all to there hedonistic thrones

Luckily there is a special place in hell
For all those that poisoned the well

Because poisoned it has become
In this existence that is nothing but bedlam

We strive and strive for things we can’t have
For our wounds, there is no salve

So go out and slave away
At minimum wage all day

As the people above your boss
Reap all the benefits of the life you’ve lost

While I ponder what is left for the rest of us
As well dwell in the Age of Rust.

Monday, September 15, 2014

A 38 Year Old College Student

I’m shocked at how much college has changed since I last when to it.  Of course, 1994 was 20 years ago, but still, I never thought it would change so much.  Part of me wonders if I just didn’t notice the things I love about school now because I was so blinded by trying to survive, but after talking to my friends, I don’t think that is the case….

It seems a million years ago when I stepped on the Austin campus of the University of Texas.  A million years and a day.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but I was giving some things a shot, and it just didn’t work out.  I was na├»ve.  I picked something and just decided to go with it, truly the wrong decision.  To this day I do not regret my decision to walk away from college, in fact it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Things that have to happen for me to Enjoy a Book

Everyone that knows me, knows that I’m a picky reader.  Its ingrained in me and nothing will ever change it.  I don’t enjoy wasting my time and I’ve left quite a few theaters because I refused to sit through a movie that was bad.

But movies are one thing, books are another.  Books require a commitment, in fact, any reading does.  It takes your full attention and concentration.  Good ones just yank those from you and push out the world all by themselves.  The fact is, good books are rare, and some of the ‘best’ books in history fall short of me wanting to spend any time on them at all.

Friday, September 5, 2014

(poem) - Nightmares

I remember dreams
Where I’d wake up alive
Landing safely upon the ground
After some fateful, deadly dive

I’m sure the screams
Woke my lover
Because of life’s
Living horror

I missed my chance
To die in the night
Being forced to life
Eternity’s blight

When death visits
In a World gone Mad
Those are the dreams
That are (supposed to be) the best I’ve ever had.

But the horror of living
On without you
Is upon me now
And there is nothing I can do

Alone
I fear it now

My bad dreams
Are nightmares of surviving
In a dreary world
Without loving

The world of before
Where living was a tedium
Of managing
Life’s great doldrums

Passing the time away
For when death finally comes
Playing games and watching TV
Ignoring my heart’s rhythmic drum

Yet now I have a reason
To truly live for each day
And I want to seize it all
In every sort of way

But the end of the dream will come
How can it not?
That end visits me in my dreams
Showing me life is all for naught

For in the end
That’s what dreams are for
To show us all the spectrums

Of what we most and least long for

Monday, September 1, 2014

A Return to College

For those of you who don't know, Lisa and I have returned to college.  Its one of the main reasons her and I vanished for so long with the blog, as we've been trying everything we could to stay afloat financially, while trying to decide what our future will hold.  Anyways, periodically I'm gonna through my essays and work online onto the blog just for the fun of it.

Our first assignment in English Comp 1, was to write an essay over our first day/week of college, picking an event and showing what it meant to you.  It was more of a participation grade, as we had to read other people's papers in class and tell the class what we got out of it.  Here is my essay, entitled A Return to College.

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