A Value to Love

How did I suddenly become so happy?  And how long will this last?  Most of my life has been this ball of craziness, running from places I hate, and that hate me, to places of extreme beauty.  I’ve lost so many things in this life, so many failures....  Its quite amazing to look back at it all and just marvel how it all fell apart so many times.

But things have to fall apart for you to rebuild something better.  Seems I’ve always been a master at picked up the pieces.  I’ve had so many people need my help through life, picking up their pieces.  So many friends have come and gone, so many times have I helped these friends with the fallout of something or other, only to have them go back through that revolving door.


I enjoy the ones that stay around, that find a way to contact me, no matter how much time or space has gone between us.  They are the true keeper friends, and the ones I cherish most.  But none of that explains me finding happiness in the intense love I’ve found.

She holds me close and tells me that I deserve her, and honestly, I believe her.  But its still amazing to find such happiness after all that I’ve known of pain, and hurt, and lost love, and failure.  How can I have found something so perfect, after living such a flawed life?

There is no answer, in the end, I guess.  All I know is that I believe in soul mates and the One again.  It makes sense that way, looking back at failed relationships, and how much I wanted to make them work, only to have them completely fall apart the more I tried.

I think I look back at all the failures in my life as a kinda of training, me learning what worked and what didn’t work.  It is also nice to think back at me looking directly at all the warning signs and ignoring them.  I found out how to not ignore them.  And I’m shocked that I’ve seen none in the relationship I’m in.

Yes, I said shocked, because honestly, I’m still in shock by the whole thing.  I’m happy.  Truly happy.  And I’ve been that way now for the longest period in my entire life.  I can’t help but ask why, even though, deep down, I truly know the answer.

Her and I both have gone through so much in our lives.  Its like we truly do deserve each other, in the type of relationship both of us dreamed about, only in our wildest dreams, because we have both been lead to believe that what we’ve found in each other just doesn’t exist.  But, in fact, it truly does.  And now we both sit in awe of each other, and of the world in this new light.  Happiness....  It truly exists, and you never know when you’ll find it, but when you do, never doubt it, just grab hold and enjoy the ride.  I’ve learned through all my experiences one thing above all.  When happiness does arrive, do not take it for granted.  Enjoy it, period.

–Dan