My Own Search for Happiness

There’s something beautiful to me about stories where some guy goes on some kind of elaborate journey to find happiness.  I think it reminds me of my own journey.  I know at the beginning of it all I felt like it was going to be some epic thing….

My journey started with a simple concept.  Well…I say it was simple.  It all started with the search for love, who I am, what happiness was, and the escape from the madness that dwelled within me from being stuck in the dead end of dead ends.  At 21, I had already had two crazy brushes with love and one relationship where it was obvious that nothing was going to work out.  The pieces of my heart were not going to pick themselves up by themselves and nothing was ever going to be picked up within the confines of the life I was living.  So, I set off….

A 38 Year Old College Student

I’m shocked at how much college has changed since I last when to it.  Of course, 1994 was 20 years ago, but still, I never thought it would change so much.  Part of me wonders if I just didn’t notice the things I love about school now because I was so blinded by trying to survive, but after talking to my friends, I don’t think that is the case….

It seems a million years ago when I stepped on the Austin campus of the University of Texas.  A million years and a day.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but I was giving some things a shot, and it just didn’t work out.  I was naïve.  I picked something and just decided to go with it, truly the wrong decision.  To this day I do not regret my decision to walk away from college, in fact it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

(Poem) - Happily Forever After

Bad days aside
Most are pretty good
Some days can even
Be better than they should

Those days are blessed
Wonderful through and through
Because I simply get to spend
All my time with you

I feel like I belong
I feel like part of something
Something far bigger
Than wearing your wedding ring.

Someday the dog doesn’t scratch
The dog doesn’t grunt
She simply lays there
Performing a silent stunt

Harmony can reign
Within this amazing home
There can be a calm
Without the petulant groans

Of a crazy teenage girl
Who is our entire world
That’s not getting her way
As her life is unfurled

Yes, there are days
Where life it truly the best
In fact there are quite a few
That are far better than the rest

The hammock is crying our name
Swaying in the breeze
There’s not very much better
Than reading our Kindles with ease

It almost seems
As if our life is a fantasy
Yet it is most definitely not
This is our reality

A life full of love
A life full of laughter
I love my wife with my entire soul
For now and for happily forever after.

(( FYI, this poem is actually part 3 in my "3 Post Experience" this week. Experience the low point in part 1, where a bad day reeks havoc in Days Like This.   But of course, every bad day becomes just another tomorrow, where you find out that there are no failures, just unfinished successes.  All you have to do is remember There Will Always Be Days Like Yesterday. ))

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - I Belong in Her Arms

Is a dream a dream
(A crazy little dream)
If its based in reality?

What about pain?
(Is it pain?)
If its based within the mind?

Its hard not to scream
(Scream so loud)
When a dream involves pain?

Why does it hurt
(Its hurts so very much)
To have your heart broken?

I once had an ideal
(Such a great ideal)
Of what the perfect woman should be.

But the woman that was perfect
(Perfection on another level)
Broke the mold of everything that was

She changed my life
(Which needed changing)
For the better in every single way

And became my wife
(The perfect wife)
Making me the happiest man alive.

But I still remember the past
(Oh so very long ago.)
When heart break felt like it would kill me.

I remember those times
(Times best forgotten)
Crying over some foolish idiot not giving their all

I always gave my all
(Pouring my very soul)
To make sure that my love found its home

But it never did
(It grew stronger, harder)
And somehow found its way into Lisa’s embrace

This embrace
(This beautiful embrace)
Is something amazing that words cannot describe

Poetry
(No matter how you write it)
Cannot match the beauty of my wife’s soul

She survived
(Things I cannot imagine)
To be with me here, laying her head against my chest

How did either of us make it here
(This wonderful place we’ve found)
After going through so damned much without each other?

The answer is so simple
(Yet so very silly)
We survived what we had to, to be together.

Because this is where we both belong
And belonging is pretty awesome
When you belong in someone’s arms.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - Travel

There’s something beautiful
About traveling the country
Once you get past
Other driver’s stupidity

It makes one tired
Of driving real fast
When you have to hope
That the other drivers you can outlast

It is what it is though
Because you will be able to see
So much
Of this world’s history

Every mile I’ve traveled
Has led me to something amazing
Where I could just sit in awe
Letting my soul rise up and sing

The truly crazy thing
Is that I’ve not seen much
A barely calculatable amount
Have I gotten to touch

I have seen enough
To know I want to see more
The beauty of this world
Is something I truly adore.

In the end
Home is where the heart may be
But my home is where
My wife is most happy

My heart beats
Within her chest
So I make sure
That our travel is always the best

Where we will go next
I have no clue
But there is one thing
That I can promise you

I’ll be with her
And she’ll be with me
Because my wife and I
Will be together eternally.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

What My Life is About

I always hate looking at my blog topic list and not seeing anything on there I want to write about.  Its not technically writer’s block, or being burnt out, its just...ambiguity I guess.  So much good is going on around me, so much fun.

This blog is going great, I’m loving my camera.  The hammock is such a great place to be, enjoying the hell outta my marriage.  Got my Kindle loaded with books to read, and am writing a novel while helping Lisa write her newest.  Exercise flows decently easy, though I need to do more of it, and I’ve got a great collection of stuff.

One Month Left Until Wedding!

It is now less than one month until my wedding, and we are definitely feeling the rush here in the Brainless Nod Household.  Yeesh....  Luckily we have everything in order that we can control, and are both looking forward to the date.

It’s been a wonderfully crazy experience so far.  A wedding definitely tests a couple’s connection.  One person wants certain things, the other wants other things.  Luckily Lisa and I have really had no real issues with wars over the little things.  Sure, we both can get bent out of shape, but it’s a good lesson in how to work together to the best of each other’s abilities.

Happy 2013!

Its hard not to get caught up in the whole New Year thing.  All the celebrations, all the joy.  All the hoping and wishing that this coming year will be better than the last.  That’s what truly makes the holidays worth it when they arrive.

But truly, its that moment after X-Mas and just before New Year’s Eve that I sit back in awe about.  All the craze of buying the perfect present is over.  Yeah sure you have the after Christmas sales, but they are nothing compared to Black Friday, yeesh.

The beginning of December

Life is full of what ifs and entertaining scenarios that didn’t happen, but might have.  As a fiction writer, I tend to dredge these kinda things up, and think about different variations on life, and what might have been or even could have been.  You can even turn this to the future, and think about what still might be, and the different paths you can take.

Now that December is here, and we’re hurtling towards Christmas at harrowing speeds, and Thanksgiving and Black Friday are over and done with, I can’t help but think about the past, and what all might have been, and what all could have been.  All this ends up making me appreciate there here and now better.

A Value to Love

How did I suddenly become so happy?  And how long will this last?  Most of my life has been this ball of craziness, running from places I hate, and that hate me, to places of extreme beauty.  I’ve lost so many things in this life, so many failures....  Its quite amazing to look back at it all and just marvel how it all fell apart so many times.

But things have to fall apart for you to rebuild something better.  Seems I’ve always been a master at picked up the pieces.  I’ve had so many people need my help through life, picking up their pieces.  So many friends have come and gone, so many times have I helped these friends with the fallout of something or other, only to have them go back through that revolving door.

A Great Love

I love random acts of love.  I’m sure most people would simply say we are still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, but after a year, we are still very much enamored with each other.  There’s nothing quite like sitting here, concentrating on something, then BOOM, being drawn into a kiss.

Much of my poetry of late has been very mushy, and romantic, and centered on Lisa.  The reason is pretty obvious, as I’ve never been so happy.  Finally finding someone that understands me, in her own odd way, has been the greatest gift ever.

Where poetry comes from.

I was very good at creating from misery.  The loneliness of life in an empty house I was about to lose to foreclosure will do that, I suppose.  I always knew/believed that I would be better at creating while I was happy.

Indeed that assertion seems the case, but I find it hard to write those haunting poems I did before.  "The tortured soul always bleeds better on paper," as the saying should go.  Now all my poems are too mushy really share.  Even the erotic ones kind of lose their bite because the way they come off as all nice and stuff.