(poem) - The First Test of Love: Wedding Planning

There’s nothing like
The stress of a wedding
Plotting and planning
Along with all the double checking

It makes one want to scream
With all their might
Waking from a dream
In the middle of the night


I know
Because I have been there
I’d do it again in a heartbeat
And marry Lisa anywhere

But thankfully
We are done with our nuptials
And are just enjoying watching
Other people’s wedding battles

I swear weddings are bad on purpose
To put couples through big stress
To see if they can handle
The bride worrying about her dress

If they can get past that
Then they can get past most anything
It’s the first time a couple is truly tested
Before they put on each other’s ring


Before they spend life together
They have to survive each other
And only a few can do so
Without becoming a strangler

The best that I can ever say
Is to enjoy your beautiful wedding day
Because it only comes once
At least, if you do it the right way

So cheers to you and yours
Cheers to love conquering all
We gather here this day
To witness the union of those in the hall

Because they survived
The planning of their wedding
We rejoice their love
May it be everlasting.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

The Completion of Ourself

One of the things I direly wished for in a life partner was the ability to bounce ideas off, and have ideas bounced off in return.  When I discovered Lisa, I wondered, deep down, if I had found this rare quality....

Once, in what seems like a very long time ago, I was stuck in writing this massive fantasy novel, which I never completed because of other reasons.  But, that’s not the point.  The point is, I was stuck.  I had written myself into corner.  And honestly, I was lost.

Emerald Reflection Photography, Open for Business

Most who know me, know I truly taking photos.  For those that were around for the wedding, they got to see me get my wedding present, and be the victim of it.  My knew Nikon D5200 is an amazing piece of technology, that I truly enjoy.

Me and My D5200
in a mirror.

When Lisa started talking about getting it for me for my wedding present, we sat down and really looked at what we both wanted me to have.  Lisa looked over my photos, listened to my vision, and made a big decision.

And that vision finally culminated in us making Emerald Reflection Photography.  Our missions is to run a photography business that will cater to those that need portraits, events, or special photos taking in an artistic and professional way.  This also includes all photo treatments I c
an achieve with Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Lightroom.  I also plan to offer interesting photo-manipulations in some packages.

The Devil is in the Church

Most know me well enough to know that I’m in no means religious.  In fact, most know that I am very anti organized religion.  I’ve always said that you can pretty much believe in whatever you want, and I won’t care.  But as soon as you start infringing on my rights to do so, or spamming about your religion, or putting down my own, I will be up in arms.

I put that disclaimer there, because this post is one I wanted to cool off a bit before I wrote it.  The largest snag we had for the whole wedding turned out to be the venue.  We had issues with it almost immediately upon choosing it, and I’m glad that we spotted the issues with it as it went along.

The Importance of Multiple Honeymoons

From a very early moment in our relationship, Lisa and I knew we’d have to take multiple honeymoons, no matter how silly it seemed.  The only thing we couldn’t truly agree on was the timing of these things.

The main honeymoon is the no brainer one.  The romantic time alone.  The problem is all the things we have to get together for that one.  We quickly decided on a cruise, as its something neither of us have ever done, and we’ll get to see tons we truly want to.  So, I’ll need a passport, we’ll need to change over Lisa’s name completely and get her a new passport.



After all that, we want to wait for off peak times, not only to go cheap, but to not have a younger crowd.  Needless to say, this one is still a ways off.  We are both saddened by that, but not worried.  It will give everything more time to settle down in our lives post wedding.

The first honeymoon was technically just an escape.  It became more and more obvious, as our wedding date marched forth, that we would need a break from all the hustle and bustle.  This particular one was also the last fully hashed out.

Putting together the wedding was a ton of stress, but a ton of fun.  It was nice to step back in time and stay at a bed and breakfast.  It was definitely an escape from the norm.  Beland Manor was a true impressive little place, with the most charming of people running it.  They made the entire stay feel more like we were just visiting friends.

On top of wonderful breakfasts we enjoyed taking a four hour scenic train ride, on which I nabbed some pretty nice photographs.  It was pretty nice, just to sit back and watch the scenery roll by.  I’ve always known there is a time for excitement, and there’s a time for relaxation.  Part of me was worried about Lisa being bored on the train, but she enjoyed herself quite a bit.

After that, we stopped by a small art center that was having a small exhibit on the Mona Lisa.  I’ve never been a huge fan of the painting, and I’ve always thought all the ‘hype’ about it was quite funny.  After seeing the exhibit, all the work done on it, all the research, all the science, I was left with a ton more knowledge than I had before, and an even more humorous look at this poorly painted, incomplete work that was worked and reworked to the point that its shocking lack of vision is only compounded by all its flaws.

All in all, despite a horrendous movie experience, we had a wonderful first honeymoon, a relaxing weekend vacation away from stress.

The family honeymoon is the real kicker though.  Lisa LOVES Disney World, her and CJ have been numorous times.  I have never been.  We knew, the instant we were putting CJ directly into the wedding, that we needed a family honeymoon.  So Disney World it is.

So yeah, the day this posts, I’m there, having fun. *grin* Expect a later blog on it, and for me to edit this to a link to it.  Because, honestly, I’m ending this right here, I need to go get my picture taken with Belle and Beast, which decorated our cake.  Yay!

The Dog's Reaction to the Wedding

Now that it’s a couple of weeks since the wedding, its fun to look back upon the whole experience and make some observations.  The main one I’m going to focus on for this post is the most interesting one that I really noticed.  The fact is, for the wedding, we had some people stay at the house.  My parents, my aunt, and the best man.

The house is easily big enough for everyone, and it felt nice when everyone came over to hang out the night before the wedding, and the day of.  There were so many people in the house, playing pool, hanging out talking.  It was a whirlwind experience that I wish would have lasted far longer, as seeing all my old friends together under the same roof...yeah, it was amazing.

Wedding Vows

Here is a copy of the wedding vows Lisa and I wrote together, and gave to the preacher to read to us so we could answer "We Do" to them.  This ceremony itself was a total of nine minutes.  Very short and sweet, but encapsulated everything we wanted.

I stood with the preacher, and watched my Best Man and the Maid of Honor walk in, followed by the Groomsman and Bride's Maid (who were a married couple), followed by Lisa who was walked by CJ.  Upon reaching the altar and after the prayer, we had a small ceremony to invite me to be CJ's stepfather:

Divorce Rates

There is absolutely nothing quite like the stress of a wedding.  Many folks decided that for their second, they will elope, because the stress of their first wedding was horrid.  Fact is, there are many ways to get past the stress, or at least to cope.  The best way?  Be sure you are marrying the right person for the right reasons.

Seems like a simple thing to say, but if two people are truly happy, and truly compatible, then the stress coming up to the wedding will be minimized by tons.  Even though there is stress, and sometimes Lisa gets a little stressed out, we can both look at each other, say our code word, and step back to take a breath.

Many marriages end in divorce for an extremely simple reason...the two people weren’t compatible, and wrong about being in love.  I in no way try to hide the fact that I was in a few failed relationships in my life.  Each one, it was pretty obvious early on that there were issues that would eventually break us up.  But I foraged on, because I didn’t want to give up.

But at some point, you have to realize that there is something simple about just being in love, and being loved in return.  My prior relationships never had that.  It was a struggle, and none of them were meant to be.  It seems obvious when you tell the stories of failed relationships, but living them is far different than telling the story of them.

The one major thing I’ve learned about past relationships is recognizing where I made the mistakes, and being worried about making them again.  Even though you promise yourself you won’t, you still will, because you can’t lose your own failings and shortcomings.  My biggest issue was I tried to hard instead of allowing myself to realize that it was time to let go and move on.

And the best part about past relationships, is that they are in the past.  And one day, in the present, you can find the happiness you didn’t back then.  Like me.  I know this will be a great marriage, because Lisa and I aren’t getting uptight about the wedding.  We agree on just about everything, and compromise on everything else without issue.

And that’s the measure that I see as figuring out what is the best in the relationship.  I’m honestly glad I went through those relationships in the past.  Because I know that even though I made mistakes, I knew I did the right thing.  In those relationships, getting married came up, but I was always the first to say, “This relationship isn’t marriage material yet.”  Or at least something to that tune.  A major thing I learned was seeing the signs that something wasn’t quite working out.

And this one, those signs aren’t there.  This is working out, and as we are getting married...in exactly 47 hours after this blog post goes live, I can see how well its going to work out.  There’s something amazing about being truly happy, and not having any reservations at all.  For the first time in my life, I’m not struggling to keep love, or to stay in love, or against someone who is destroying the relationship with their actions.  I’m truly just enjoying the ride, with my perfect partner.

Life with Lisa Bonser has already been the greatest time of my life.  Here’s to long life, and happiness with my new wife! *raises a glass in toast*

The Week of the Wedding.

Here we are, and I’m getting married this very week.  And we’ve definitely had to deal with life trying to get in the way, in oh so many ways.  But the main thing is, we have persevered through it all, and everything is still going as planned.

I’ll definitely make a blog about it in the future, but we actually lost the venue.  Along with everything else, its built up to a very interesting list of things that have tried to stop us.  And the best thing about it all, is that I’ve told Lisa that many things would try.  Everything that is good in life, always seems to be countered by something bad.

Phillip, the best man, came in on Saturday, and we’ve been hanging out and really just mellowed everything out with the extra help.  We’ve gotten about 90% of the stuff done we can do before hand done, and been able to do a bit more cleaning to prepare for all my friends coming over.

Fact is, I’m excited.  And I have every right to be.  I don’t get to see my friends that often, and the fact they are coming to see me, some I haven’t seen in quite some time.  It makes me realize how momentous an occasion this truly is.  Its humbling in many many ways.

In the end, its all trucking along extremely well, no matter what all goes wrong.  When my father had a run in with medical issues recently, I knew that he’d have kicked himself if he’d have messed up the wedding.  Even though it was touch and go for awhile, as far as figuring out whether to abandon plans or not...I knew that he’d so mad if we’d have postponed anything, so we kept going.

I’d go into the venue issue now, but that will definitely be another blog, because it deserves a full treatment and I’m not giving in to my anger right now, because we are making the best of every bad situation that arises.  This has definitely been an adventure, and I’d recommend it to anyone who might someday find true love.  Lisa and I have been on the same page just about every step of the way, and those times we have been at odds, we quickly found the middle.  Yeah, this is going to be an amazing week, followed by me marrying an amazing woman.  I know for a fact, that I’ve never been happier than I’ve ever been right now.  And it just keeps getting better.

I just hope soon we’ll find a place to put all the wedding favor bags so we can play pool. *sigh* Time to start looking for good places....

–Dan

(poem) - Valentines Day 2013

I know exactly
What some people say
The card companies got together
And made up Valintines Day

Fact is I don’t care
Because the day has a wonderful vibe
Knowing love is in the air
Makes life worth the ride

Every day I wake up
And try to make her know I love her
But on Valintines Day
The effort is a blur

There are cards and gifts
In all the stores
All begging you to buy
All the more

The best day
Is the day after
When its all half off
Which causes me much laughter

But the day itself
Is a wonderful day
And I’ll show that I love her
In every single way

The weekend that follows
Will be full of fun
Because we will go out walking
Under the bright sun

And I will profess
My love to her
For she is my world
And there’ll not be another

She will smile
And we will kiss
We will be married
And know such bliss

For she is my love
My lover and friend
And will forever be
Beyond whatever end.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

Life's Little Complications

There is nothing quite like complications.  They arise when you least expect them, and make life so much more complicated.  If you’ve followed the blog, or know us at all then you know that our marriage is just a handful of weeks away.  The fact is, we had a complication arise a while ago that is throwing many things into turmoil.

An interesting fact: I have never owned a passport, nor gone out of the country.  I’ve always wanted to.  We wanted so much to do a Carribean Cruise for our honeymoon, as Lisa has never been on a cruise, and I wanted us to do something together neither of us has ever done.

One Month Left Until Wedding!

It is now less than one month until my wedding, and we are definitely feeling the rush here in the Brainless Nod Household.  Yeesh....  Luckily we have everything in order that we can control, and are both looking forward to the date.

It’s been a wonderfully crazy experience so far.  A wedding definitely tests a couple’s connection.  One person wants certain things, the other wants other things.  Luckily Lisa and I have really had no real issues with wars over the little things.  Sure, we both can get bent out of shape, but it’s a good lesson in how to work together to the best of each other’s abilities.

(poem) - Looking Forward to Marriage

The wedding is coming
The date is finally set
I cannot wait
For marriage’s onset

I’ve waited a lifetime
For her to come around
A year before I found her
Towards her, was I bound.

Life and circumstances
Break upon the shore
Reminding us that only Fate’s hand
Can open the door

Yet we must walk through it
And be as bold as we can
To see what there is to see
Of what could be the promised land

I know that I for one
Am looking forward to my life
Because since I met her
Its been more free of strife

Speed bumps
Will always be there
But what I am capable of
Cannot compare

To anything life throws
Because its not throwing at me
Its throwing at us
Because I am part of a We

And We are stronger
Than I have ever been
Because we work together
Towards whatever end.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - The New Year Ahead

The holidays
Have come and gone
Leaving us
With their memorable songs

They are stuck in the mind
Repeating again and again
Like some
Horrendously memorable sin

But with their leaving
We can now see
A new year before us
A brand new journey

Time marches ever onward
Leading towards whatever end
But I know this year
I shall not bend

This year
Threatens to be
The happiest
In memory

I will get married
I will have a wife
Who will share with me
This amazing life

Hand in hand
We will face the stretch of time
And I will try to make
Every line rhyme.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

Dating a Teenager's Mother

I remember several years ago, a colleague at work turned to me and said, “You shouldn’t go for women who had children.”  I remember looking back at her and said, “Finding a woman at my age without children...yeah right.”  I remember the conversation well, and how true it was then, and still is.

Falling in love is hard enough, even though when it happens its way to easy to just fall.  Lisa and I fell fast, and hard, and it was wonderful.  But quite a few people were startled by it all, watching from the outside.  Not least of which, was a teenage daughter caught in the middle.  But here’s one thing I’ve learned, if you are to have a mother love you, then you have to love the child as well.

Remembering a Wedding

Why are weddings such stressful things to plan?  It makes absolutely no sense.  You want a celebration of your love with friends and family in attendance, but it turns in to a huge drama-fest of trying to make sure everything’s perfect.  But why?

Surely its not an ego thing.  It seems like it when you watch the shows on TV about it.  How people have to have a weddings that’s better than another persons.  Its sad when you see it, but it definitely happens.