I've Never Said I Was a Hero

Many times on my blog, including the future, I’ve written about the villains in my life.  I’ve had many, many people do me wrong over the years, or simply be evil people.  Every time I think I see one that is the winner, someone else shows up to take the cake.  From the drugged up woman whom I used to live next to that berated her children in public, to the mother-in-law, to my own dad, I’ve seen a ton of people do truly bullshit things to people or even to me.

But I’m here to say that I’m not immune to the evils.  In fact, I’ve never claimed to be a hero, I’ve been a villain in many a person’s story.  How could I be human and not be?  But in the end, I have to live the best life I can, and sometimes that means stepping on toes.

Defining Friendship and Family

The one thing about the English language, that you have to get down quickly, is the definitions of things.  Some words can sound the same, but have different meanings.  Some words actually have meanings, but mean different things to different people.  The best example, is friendship and family.

Friend:

 a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

Family:

a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

(poem) - The Dance of Love's Life

I’ve danced through life
To a soundtrack that only I’ve heard
I’ve invited you to dance
If you wish to learn

Many have taken me up
On this offer of life’s dance
Only to watch them stumble
Not being able to prance

Happiness is a way of life
That I’ve lived for quite some time
But I only know how to do so
Because I know Sorrow’s every line

So watch as I dance
And twirl around
Can you see me float
Far above the ground?

In real life
I cannot dance
But metaphorically
I do so at every chance

And amazingly I found Lisa
Who has taken my hand
As we danced
She donned my wedding band

Friends may come and go
But I’ve finally found a partner
Who will dance with me
Forever, and ever after

Somewhere along the way
I realized something very important
I’ve danced this dance I’ve danced
Felt pain at every appointment

So that when I got to dance with her
It was the dance that would enthrall her

Because she’s danced
The same dance as me
So that when we found each other
It would be so lovely

That we have both wept with joy
At true love’s beautiful envoy

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

Falling in Love Again, for the First Time.

I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I'm sure you have heard it or even said it but for me it is the truth. I have never felt or been so loved in all my life and it's all because of a wonderful caring man that I call my husband.

After my late husband died I was lost. I really didn't know what I was going to do next. It was just me and my 13 year old daughter. I thought there was no way I was going to get married again and have my heart ripped out of my chest again. After a few months I started to get lonely. I missed the championship that I had with my late husband. My mom told me that I was too young to be by myself and I should start dating again.

(Poem) - Happily Forever After

Bad days aside
Most are pretty good
Some days can even
Be better than they should

Those days are blessed
Wonderful through and through
Because I simply get to spend
All my time with you

I feel like I belong
I feel like part of something
Something far bigger
Than wearing your wedding ring.

Someday the dog doesn’t scratch
The dog doesn’t grunt
She simply lays there
Performing a silent stunt

Harmony can reign
Within this amazing home
There can be a calm
Without the petulant groans

Of a crazy teenage girl
Who is our entire world
That’s not getting her way
As her life is unfurled

Yes, there are days
Where life it truly the best
In fact there are quite a few
That are far better than the rest

The hammock is crying our name
Swaying in the breeze
There’s not very much better
Than reading our Kindles with ease

It almost seems
As if our life is a fantasy
Yet it is most definitely not
This is our reality

A life full of love
A life full of laughter
I love my wife with my entire soul
For now and for happily forever after.

(( FYI, this poem is actually part 3 in my "3 Post Experience" this week. Experience the low point in part 1, where a bad day reeks havoc in Days Like This.   But of course, every bad day becomes just another tomorrow, where you find out that there are no failures, just unfinished successes.  All you have to do is remember There Will Always Be Days Like Yesterday. ))

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - Wearing Black while Baking Bread

Is there anything better
Than wearing black
And being covered by flour?

Cooking is so much fun
Baking is as well
Watching bread rise, hour after hour.

Mix everything together
Add the right about of spice
And suddenly an amazing flavor comes together

I never realized
It could be so much fun
Cooking in the kitchen with her

My wife and I
Make a great team
Doing everything together, time after time

When it comes down to creating
We make the best of teams
As we write a story, line after line

But together in the kitchen
Kneading out the dough
We make the most amazing things

With flavors so astounding
We are reminded
Of why we gave each other rings

Food nourishes the body
Enhances life itself
Especially with the right flavors

Our love nourishes our soul
Mix in the spices of our life
And our marriage resonates with a purr

So, in the end
Cooking food together
Sums up our love

Add just the right mixture
Makes all the flavors of life
Soar so high above.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - Bring on the Pain

I hate those moments
Right after something special
That take a great time
And make the whole even awful

Its going to happen
From time to time
But I’ll hate it with a passion
No matter the reason or rhyme

It gets more rare
With every passing day
That everything goes right
In every single way

Something always
Tries to come around
Bringing along
A dank and dark cloud

I rage against it
With all my might
But I’m getting tired
And always loose the fight

The one thing
I know I can say
Is that the longer people
Together stay

They’ll be able to find
The best ways to hurt each other
Making paradise
A little less brighter

I truly hate those moments
Right after being inspired
When the yelling starts
And an argument has to be retired.

There is nothing more devastating
Than doing what I do
Stopping you from hurting me
By making sure I hurt you.

But life goes on
As beautiful as it may seem
With this one argument
Lurking behind the scene

It might be
The only one we have
But it’s a dozy
And definitely not drab.

All I can say is
Love is a beautiful thing
And conquers everything
That gets put in a sling

Today
The aftermath might be oppressing
But tomorrow is another day
And nowhere near depressing

For love will come
With the brand new dawn
And spread its rays
Upon our green lawn

The grass will grow
Along with our love
We will catch wing again
And fly like a dove.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

My Soul Mate

The concept of a ‘soul mate’ is an interesting one to talk about.  There are so many ideas and folk lore associated with it.  Mom wanted me to watch a movie called Made in Heaven the other day, and though I did not like the movie, I loved the concept, as it portrayed why some people fall in love, get married, and then it just doesn’t work out.

The problem with the movie was it skipped around too much to truly follow, and had moments that were obviously important, but never really explained them.  I saw that it was made from a book, so I figured the only way to really appreciate the movie was to have read the book.

(poem) - The First Test of Love: Wedding Planning

There’s nothing like
The stress of a wedding
Plotting and planning
Along with all the double checking

It makes one want to scream
With all their might
Waking from a dream
In the middle of the night


I know
Because I have been there
I’d do it again in a heartbeat
And marry Lisa anywhere

But thankfully
We are done with our nuptials
And are just enjoying watching
Other people’s wedding battles

I swear weddings are bad on purpose
To put couples through big stress
To see if they can handle
The bride worrying about her dress

If they can get past that
Then they can get past most anything
It’s the first time a couple is truly tested
Before they put on each other’s ring


Before they spend life together
They have to survive each other
And only a few can do so
Without becoming a strangler

The best that I can ever say
Is to enjoy your beautiful wedding day
Because it only comes once
At least, if you do it the right way

So cheers to you and yours
Cheers to love conquering all
We gather here this day
To witness the union of those in the hall

Because they survived
The planning of their wedding
We rejoice their love
May it be everlasting.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

What is 'Rushing' into Love?

Lisa and I had what most would call a whirlwind romance.  We met through an online dating service, which took quite a bit of luck in and of itself, and then we just FELL.  Before we even met in person we knew there was something interesting there, and after that first meeting, we both had fallen for each other.

We tried to keep from rushing as much as we could, and every time we did ‘hold back’ it would cause strife between us.  I still, to this day, catch grief for not wanting to say “I love you” first even though we both felt it.

The Importance of Multiple Honeymoons

From a very early moment in our relationship, Lisa and I knew we’d have to take multiple honeymoons, no matter how silly it seemed.  The only thing we couldn’t truly agree on was the timing of these things.

The main honeymoon is the no brainer one.  The romantic time alone.  The problem is all the things we have to get together for that one.  We quickly decided on a cruise, as its something neither of us have ever done, and we’ll get to see tons we truly want to.  So, I’ll need a passport, we’ll need to change over Lisa’s name completely and get her a new passport.



After all that, we want to wait for off peak times, not only to go cheap, but to not have a younger crowd.  Needless to say, this one is still a ways off.  We are both saddened by that, but not worried.  It will give everything more time to settle down in our lives post wedding.

The first honeymoon was technically just an escape.  It became more and more obvious, as our wedding date marched forth, that we would need a break from all the hustle and bustle.  This particular one was also the last fully hashed out.

Putting together the wedding was a ton of stress, but a ton of fun.  It was nice to step back in time and stay at a bed and breakfast.  It was definitely an escape from the norm.  Beland Manor was a true impressive little place, with the most charming of people running it.  They made the entire stay feel more like we were just visiting friends.

On top of wonderful breakfasts we enjoyed taking a four hour scenic train ride, on which I nabbed some pretty nice photographs.  It was pretty nice, just to sit back and watch the scenery roll by.  I’ve always known there is a time for excitement, and there’s a time for relaxation.  Part of me was worried about Lisa being bored on the train, but she enjoyed herself quite a bit.

After that, we stopped by a small art center that was having a small exhibit on the Mona Lisa.  I’ve never been a huge fan of the painting, and I’ve always thought all the ‘hype’ about it was quite funny.  After seeing the exhibit, all the work done on it, all the research, all the science, I was left with a ton more knowledge than I had before, and an even more humorous look at this poorly painted, incomplete work that was worked and reworked to the point that its shocking lack of vision is only compounded by all its flaws.

All in all, despite a horrendous movie experience, we had a wonderful first honeymoon, a relaxing weekend vacation away from stress.

The family honeymoon is the real kicker though.  Lisa LOVES Disney World, her and CJ have been numorous times.  I have never been.  We knew, the instant we were putting CJ directly into the wedding, that we needed a family honeymoon.  So Disney World it is.

So yeah, the day this posts, I’m there, having fun. *grin* Expect a later blog on it, and for me to edit this to a link to it.  Because, honestly, I’m ending this right here, I need to go get my picture taken with Belle and Beast, which decorated our cake.  Yay!

The Dog's Reaction to the Wedding

Now that it’s a couple of weeks since the wedding, its fun to look back upon the whole experience and make some observations.  The main one I’m going to focus on for this post is the most interesting one that I really noticed.  The fact is, for the wedding, we had some people stay at the house.  My parents, my aunt, and the best man.

The house is easily big enough for everyone, and it felt nice when everyone came over to hang out the night before the wedding, and the day of.  There were so many people in the house, playing pool, hanging out talking.  It was a whirlwind experience that I wish would have lasted far longer, as seeing all my old friends together under the same roof...yeah, it was amazing.

Wedding Vows

Here is a copy of the wedding vows Lisa and I wrote together, and gave to the preacher to read to us so we could answer "We Do" to them.  This ceremony itself was a total of nine minutes.  Very short and sweet, but encapsulated everything we wanted.

I stood with the preacher, and watched my Best Man and the Maid of Honor walk in, followed by the Groomsman and Bride's Maid (who were a married couple), followed by Lisa who was walked by CJ.  Upon reaching the altar and after the prayer, we had a small ceremony to invite me to be CJ's stepfather:

Divorce Rates

There is absolutely nothing quite like the stress of a wedding.  Many folks decided that for their second, they will elope, because the stress of their first wedding was horrid.  Fact is, there are many ways to get past the stress, or at least to cope.  The best way?  Be sure you are marrying the right person for the right reasons.

Seems like a simple thing to say, but if two people are truly happy, and truly compatible, then the stress coming up to the wedding will be minimized by tons.  Even though there is stress, and sometimes Lisa gets a little stressed out, we can both look at each other, say our code word, and step back to take a breath.

Many marriages end in divorce for an extremely simple reason...the two people weren’t compatible, and wrong about being in love.  I in no way try to hide the fact that I was in a few failed relationships in my life.  Each one, it was pretty obvious early on that there were issues that would eventually break us up.  But I foraged on, because I didn’t want to give up.

But at some point, you have to realize that there is something simple about just being in love, and being loved in return.  My prior relationships never had that.  It was a struggle, and none of them were meant to be.  It seems obvious when you tell the stories of failed relationships, but living them is far different than telling the story of them.

The one major thing I’ve learned about past relationships is recognizing where I made the mistakes, and being worried about making them again.  Even though you promise yourself you won’t, you still will, because you can’t lose your own failings and shortcomings.  My biggest issue was I tried to hard instead of allowing myself to realize that it was time to let go and move on.

And the best part about past relationships, is that they are in the past.  And one day, in the present, you can find the happiness you didn’t back then.  Like me.  I know this will be a great marriage, because Lisa and I aren’t getting uptight about the wedding.  We agree on just about everything, and compromise on everything else without issue.

And that’s the measure that I see as figuring out what is the best in the relationship.  I’m honestly glad I went through those relationships in the past.  Because I know that even though I made mistakes, I knew I did the right thing.  In those relationships, getting married came up, but I was always the first to say, “This relationship isn’t marriage material yet.”  Or at least something to that tune.  A major thing I learned was seeing the signs that something wasn’t quite working out.

And this one, those signs aren’t there.  This is working out, and as we are getting married...in exactly 47 hours after this blog post goes live, I can see how well its going to work out.  There’s something amazing about being truly happy, and not having any reservations at all.  For the first time in my life, I’m not struggling to keep love, or to stay in love, or against someone who is destroying the relationship with their actions.  I’m truly just enjoying the ride, with my perfect partner.

Life with Lisa Bonser has already been the greatest time of my life.  Here’s to long life, and happiness with my new wife! *raises a glass in toast*

The Week of the Wedding.

Here we are, and I’m getting married this very week.  And we’ve definitely had to deal with life trying to get in the way, in oh so many ways.  But the main thing is, we have persevered through it all, and everything is still going as planned.

I’ll definitely make a blog about it in the future, but we actually lost the venue.  Along with everything else, its built up to a very interesting list of things that have tried to stop us.  And the best thing about it all, is that I’ve told Lisa that many things would try.  Everything that is good in life, always seems to be countered by something bad.

Phillip, the best man, came in on Saturday, and we’ve been hanging out and really just mellowed everything out with the extra help.  We’ve gotten about 90% of the stuff done we can do before hand done, and been able to do a bit more cleaning to prepare for all my friends coming over.

Fact is, I’m excited.  And I have every right to be.  I don’t get to see my friends that often, and the fact they are coming to see me, some I haven’t seen in quite some time.  It makes me realize how momentous an occasion this truly is.  Its humbling in many many ways.

In the end, its all trucking along extremely well, no matter what all goes wrong.  When my father had a run in with medical issues recently, I knew that he’d have kicked himself if he’d have messed up the wedding.  Even though it was touch and go for awhile, as far as figuring out whether to abandon plans or not...I knew that he’d so mad if we’d have postponed anything, so we kept going.

I’d go into the venue issue now, but that will definitely be another blog, because it deserves a full treatment and I’m not giving in to my anger right now, because we are making the best of every bad situation that arises.  This has definitely been an adventure, and I’d recommend it to anyone who might someday find true love.  Lisa and I have been on the same page just about every step of the way, and those times we have been at odds, we quickly found the middle.  Yeah, this is going to be an amazing week, followed by me marrying an amazing woman.  I know for a fact, that I’ve never been happier than I’ve ever been right now.  And it just keeps getting better.

I just hope soon we’ll find a place to put all the wedding favor bags so we can play pool. *sigh* Time to start looking for good places....

–Dan

(poem) - Valentines Day 2013

I know exactly
What some people say
The card companies got together
And made up Valintines Day

Fact is I don’t care
Because the day has a wonderful vibe
Knowing love is in the air
Makes life worth the ride

Every day I wake up
And try to make her know I love her
But on Valintines Day
The effort is a blur

There are cards and gifts
In all the stores
All begging you to buy
All the more

The best day
Is the day after
When its all half off
Which causes me much laughter

But the day itself
Is a wonderful day
And I’ll show that I love her
In every single way

The weekend that follows
Will be full of fun
Because we will go out walking
Under the bright sun

And I will profess
My love to her
For she is my world
And there’ll not be another

She will smile
And we will kiss
We will be married
And know such bliss

For she is my love
My lover and friend
And will forever be
Beyond whatever end.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - Looking Forward to Marriage

The wedding is coming
The date is finally set
I cannot wait
For marriage’s onset

I’ve waited a lifetime
For her to come around
A year before I found her
Towards her, was I bound.

Life and circumstances
Break upon the shore
Reminding us that only Fate’s hand
Can open the door

Yet we must walk through it
And be as bold as we can
To see what there is to see
Of what could be the promised land

I know that I for one
Am looking forward to my life
Because since I met her
Its been more free of strife

Speed bumps
Will always be there
But what I am capable of
Cannot compare

To anything life throws
Because its not throwing at me
Its throwing at us
Because I am part of a We

And We are stronger
Than I have ever been
Because we work together
Towards whatever end.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

(poem) - The New Year Ahead

The holidays
Have come and gone
Leaving us
With their memorable songs

They are stuck in the mind
Repeating again and again
Like some
Horrendously memorable sin

But with their leaving
We can now see
A new year before us
A brand new journey

Time marches ever onward
Leading towards whatever end
But I know this year
I shall not bend

This year
Threatens to be
The happiest
In memory

I will get married
I will have a wife
Who will share with me
This amazing life

Hand in hand
We will face the stretch of time
And I will try to make
Every line rhyme.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

A Great Love

I love random acts of love.  I’m sure most people would simply say we are still in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, but after a year, we are still very much enamored with each other.  There’s nothing quite like sitting here, concentrating on something, then BOOM, being drawn into a kiss.

Much of my poetry of late has been very mushy, and romantic, and centered on Lisa.  The reason is pretty obvious, as I’ve never been so happy.  Finally finding someone that understands me, in her own odd way, has been the greatest gift ever.

Remembering a Wedding

Why are weddings such stressful things to plan?  It makes absolutely no sense.  You want a celebration of your love with friends and family in attendance, but it turns in to a huge drama-fest of trying to make sure everything’s perfect.  But why?

Surely its not an ego thing.  It seems like it when you watch the shows on TV about it.  How people have to have a weddings that’s better than another persons.  Its sad when you see it, but it definitely happens.