Those frustrating days when nothing seems to be appreciated. Yeah, I have those. Most know me as a perfectionist when it comes to editing, and a creator when it comes to writing and photography. But the fact is...its really hard to write and create simply because there are days when you wonder if anyone is reading at all....
Sure, this blog gets ‘plenty’ of views, but how many stop and read? Not many comment, that’s for certain. So how can I even tell how many read?
I can look at stats all day long, but fact is, I simply can’t find that out. So some days, I’ll look at this blank WordPerfect window and wonder why I do it at all. Why do I create? Why do I write? Why do I own a camera?
Fact is, its just hard to ‘feel like a success’ with what I do. I’ve always called it the ‘mid-novel’ syndrome. That part when you’ve written over 100 pages, still have 100 to go, and you wonder if its worth continuing, worth finishing.... You have to finish the first draft before you can start the second.... And it won’t be ‘amazing’ until at least the second draft.... So when you are mid-novel, you are nowhere near ‘halfway.’
It can feel a bit unempowering, almost like you aren’t being a success. Problem is, though, there are many things that have been ‘unsuccessful’ this summer. The photography didn’t take off like I wanted, I ended up rewriting a story for the Emerald Bard because it just didn’t work, and Google changed their algorithms so my pageviews fell off quite a bit.
In the end, I have to remind myself, these aren’t failures. They are just not successes. I still have the camera, so the photography could take off at any time. The poor story in the Ballad has been rewritten and now its time to see if it comes out better than the last time. And I’m still getting plenty of pageviews, no matter if they are lower than the last few months.
But mainly, I’m still here creating. Writing away like mad. I still have great ideas for photo shoots, and I’m nowhere near out of blog topic ideas. The serial webfiction series is still planned out pretty far, and I still plan on collected them into a book to distribute at least electronically. All in all I have much about me to feel successful.
I just have to realize those days will happen. The days when I feel a bit defeated, downtrodden. But as those days will happen, as will the days after, when I know I can go out there and create beautiful things that I know people appreciate. I just have reorient myself from time to time, like today....
(( This is the 2nd post in my "3 Post Experience" this week. If you missed it, be sure to check out if feels to be in the grips of a bad day in Days Like This. Part three was in the form of a poem, showing how I get through the toughest of days with relative 'ease.' Check out Happily Forever After now! ))
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