My Soul Mate

The concept of a ‘soul mate’ is an interesting one to talk about.  There are so many ideas and folk lore associated with it.  Mom wanted me to watch a movie called Made in Heaven the other day, and though I did not like the movie, I loved the concept, as it portrayed why some people fall in love, get married, and then it just doesn’t work out.

The problem with the movie was it skipped around too much to truly follow, and had moments that were obviously important, but never really explained them.  I saw that it was made from a book, so I figured the only way to really appreciate the movie was to have read the book.

The Doctor Who Saved My Soul

Doctor Who, for those that don’t know, is one of the most popular television shows in the world.  It originates from Britain, and is actually celebrating it beginning 50 years ago....  I don’t see how its not the longest running show ever....

When I first saw it, there was nothing on TV like it, especially not in the USA.  The humor was not only funny, but incredibly smart, filled with all sorts of wonderful imagination.  After watching that show, way back in the 80s, I grew a sort of disdain for the television shows in the US....

The time I learned how to pretend to smile.

Most people don’t know this, but I went through a very large portion of my life, faking laughter and smiles.  I actually got quite good at it.  At times, its hard not to think about that period of my life as the ‘dark time’ but the fact is, there was quite a bit of good in it.

During that time, I had completely given up on happiness, and started to acquire habits that were extremely hard to get rid of.  I suppose that’s how its supposed to work, the whole idle hands thing.



The most interesting part about this is, though, that I’d bet most don’t know when that time was for me.  I guess that’s also kinda sad, as this period of my life was the most influential of any other time in my life.

You know the old psychology question, “If life is a play, and everyone has their part, what part do you play?”  Are you the lead character?  Are you a supporting character?  Are an antagonist?  Lets get a bit outside the box, are you maybe the director?  Script writer?  Producer?  Better yet...what part do you think I play?

During the most unhappy portion of my life, I learned that I was the audience.  That’s right, I’m the one sitting in the crowd watching it all.

The cool thing is, I pay attention, I learn from watching other people’s mistakes.  I’ve watched romances, death, degradation, and hilarity.  I’ve witnessed just about every plot life can throw at someone.  I watched how people reacted in those situations, and came up with conclusions.

Then, I hit highschool.  Suddenly, I could answer people’s life’s questions.  They’d come to me for all manor of questions, and I could sit back, think about it, and give them an honest answer.  Suddenly I was a ‘wise man’ that could help even the most lost individual.

It was an odd transition, going from this well of unhappiness, of being lost in life, of just existing, to what I became.  I pulled together friends from all aspects of highschool life, and somehow we formed a family.  The nerdy smart kids hung around with some jocks who hung around with the creative outcasts.  And we all sat at the same table at lunch, far away from the cafeteria.



During that time of unhappiness, there WERE moments of joy, but they were few and far between.  I would wear a particular piece of clothing to school every day, and somehow identify with it.  On the weekends I had friends outside of school, the neighborhood kids, to hang with.  I had video games and Star Trek The Next Generation.  My imagination ran free and wild, and I sat back and watched life happen for so many people.

I’ve always said that one must appreciate the darkness within their own soul to truly understand the light.  I have met people in life, that saw the darkness behind my eyes, and got scared and ran from my life.  I’ve met those that were attracted to it for all the wrong reasons.

What I can tell you is this.  I wouldn’t change my life, because it made me who I am.  It definitely wasn’t a horrible life, just at times it just overflowed with unhappiness, which isn’t exactly sadness.  I’d do it all again for sure, without hesitation.  Life is special and beautiful, and to think about it versus never existing, seems ludicrous on an insane level.  I am who I am because I was allowed to become me naturally.  Its hard not to be grateful, awe-inspired, and moved all at the same time.  And it all happened, because I lived a portion of my life, where I had to learn how to fake laughter and smilies.

Blaze your own path.

I learned a very long time ago to follow my own path.  It seems what I’m destined to do.  Somewhere along the way, those people that kept telling me what I should be doing, gave me enough reason to turn my back on them, and simply walk away.

I come from a small town in Texas, where the status-quo is to work your ass off the rest of your life and retire.  Give your life to the company, and hopefully one day you’ll still be able to enjoy what is left of your life.  In all honesty, I cannot find a positive way to say that....  So yeah, I found a high paying temp job, worked there a few months, when it was over, I pooled my money and left.

Sixteen hundred miles later, I was standing in the most beautiful place I have ever seen.  Though it was a struggle, I clawed out my life there, and worked so very hard to keep it.  While I was there, I was immersed in beauty, and learned the skill to see the true beauty in life which in turn showed me how to  truly believe in this amazingly beautiful thing called life.

Music

Music is a powerful thing.  I fully believe it has to be considered a major part of the human experience.  I never met anyone who did not like music in some form or another, which is a good thing.  Music is something that resonates on something much deeper than just the flesh.

I fully believe music is an example of people having souls.  I went into the human soul in the post The Weight of the Soul, but only in so far as I brought up the debate.  I mentioned music, but only briefly.  In all honesty, I think that music just about settles that debate.

What Controls the You?

There have been many philosophical debates over the millennia, most of them are valid arguments, and need to be looked into to understand the human condition.  “I think therefore I am,” the human soul, what could be a better debate?

What about the one about why humans act the way they do?  All my life I’ve watched human beings defy common morality, sacrifice themselves for the greater good, or humiliate themselves for money.  The problem is, trying to understand the large decisions, is far too complicated, so I wanted to get down to the basics.

I believe there are three major aspects to how we exist.  We interact with this world through our Body, which has a central processing unit called the Mind, both of which somehow have tethered a Soul to this mortal coil.  My question is, “Which one of these, controls You?”

(poem) She is my everything.

She is my wife
She is my life
She will not be cut away with a knife
She is my everything

I wake in the morn
I feel her in my arms so warm
And quickly forget my dream’s forlorn
As my eyes meet hers, my soul takes wing

I go through the long day
Knowing that with me she’ll stay
I do not have to soothsay
To know she’ll fulfill my yearning




I look at her with so much love
While my heart flutters like a dove
She makes me rise above
She makes my soul sing

We make a solid team
And we hardly every scream
She is the woman of my dreams
It is my soul that she is saving

Saving from a lifetime of woe
I love that she loves me so
To save me from a life so hollow
With the love of such a loving being

There is no strife
With her as my wife
This is an amazing life
She is my everything.

--Dan

--Want more Poetry?  Check out my Poetry Collection Page!

The Weight of the Soul

Ahhh, the philosophical debate about the soul.  I personally think it’s the most important debate human kind can muster.  Do you have a soul?

I believe I do, for sure.  I am moved by music, moved by scenery, I can be moved to tears easily, as well as inspired enough to move someone else with my own creations.  I believe we can truly channel our soul into our creations, and pulse them with energy, enough to almost make it alive.