My Own Search for Happiness

There’s something beautiful to me about stories where some guy goes on some kind of elaborate journey to find happiness.  I think it reminds me of my own journey.  I know at the beginning of it all I felt like it was going to be some epic thing….

My journey started with a simple concept.  Well…I say it was simple.  It all started with the search for love, who I am, what happiness was, and the escape from the madness that dwelled within me from being stuck in the dead end of dead ends.  At 21, I had already had two crazy brushes with love and one relationship where it was obvious that nothing was going to work out.  The pieces of my heart were not going to pick themselves up by themselves and nothing was ever going to be picked up within the confines of the life I was living.  So, I set off….

A Realization, and a Regretful Goodbye

Many times in my life, I’ve stopped and wondered if I’m living a fantasy.  I don’t do it because things are going so well, I do it because I start realizing things aren’t going the way I thought they should.  The problem is that statement, do I get complacent with my life?  Do I take things for granted?  When I’m making out with my wife, and she pushes me away, is it really because the reasons she gives, or have I allowed the romance to die when I thought it was burning strong?

Sometime in my youth, I discovered that sex can be a beautiful proclamation of love between two people.  Yes, it can be everything else sex has become, but it can be so much more.  When I’m making love with my wife, I can feel her soul there with me, and it feels as if my soul is reaching for hers.  Sometimes I feel weightless, like I’m floating with her in a void of bliss.