Wedding Vows

Here is a copy of the wedding vows Lisa and I wrote together, and gave to the preacher to read to us so we could answer "We Do" to them.  This ceremony itself was a total of nine minutes.  Very short and sweet, but encapsulated everything we wanted.

I stood with the preacher, and watched my Best Man and the Maid of Honor walk in, followed by the Groomsman and Bride's Maid (who were a married couple), followed by Lisa who was walked by CJ.  Upon reaching the altar and after the prayer, we had a small ceremony to invite me to be CJ's stepfather:

The Hospital System

There’s nothing like returning home after a stint at the hospital.  The work to get that smell off of you is definitely a chore.  But the real chore begins as you start rehabilitating the former patient.  Surgery takes quite a bit out of people...literally.

But the main fatigue that comes from going through the process is just dealing with the system.  Especially when you do it without insurance.  Its crazy expensive and just flat out degrading.  Sure, there are good nurses, but in the Emergency Room, everyone is treated like some third world escapee that shouldn’t be there.  Especially when you say you have no insurance.

Technological Dark Ages

There’s nothing quite like living in small town, rural United States.  There are many things that feel backwards and out of date, but there’s one thing above all that makes me feel truly out of touch with society.

There is a telecommunications company here that has a monopoly of the rural areas here.  It’s a small place, and they overcharge for everything.   But what gets me is the cell phones.  Most of the civilized world now has cell phones, and the market for them is an unbelievable place.  New phones come out every week it seems, and the competition forces phones to just get better and better.

The wedding

Here's the first live shot of us after our wedding!

These shots were done at the reception at the cake cutting!

We are now newlyweds, Mr Dan and Lisa Bonser!!!!!

Divorce Rates

There is absolutely nothing quite like the stress of a wedding.  Many folks decided that for their second, they will elope, because the stress of their first wedding was horrid.  Fact is, there are many ways to get past the stress, or at least to cope.  The best way?  Be sure you are marrying the right person for the right reasons.

Seems like a simple thing to say, but if two people are truly happy, and truly compatible, then the stress coming up to the wedding will be minimized by tons.  Even though there is stress, and sometimes Lisa gets a little stressed out, we can both look at each other, say our code word, and step back to take a breath.

Many marriages end in divorce for an extremely simple reason...the two people weren’t compatible, and wrong about being in love.  I in no way try to hide the fact that I was in a few failed relationships in my life.  Each one, it was pretty obvious early on that there were issues that would eventually break us up.  But I foraged on, because I didn’t want to give up.

But at some point, you have to realize that there is something simple about just being in love, and being loved in return.  My prior relationships never had that.  It was a struggle, and none of them were meant to be.  It seems obvious when you tell the stories of failed relationships, but living them is far different than telling the story of them.

The one major thing I’ve learned about past relationships is recognizing where I made the mistakes, and being worried about making them again.  Even though you promise yourself you won’t, you still will, because you can’t lose your own failings and shortcomings.  My biggest issue was I tried to hard instead of allowing myself to realize that it was time to let go and move on.

And the best part about past relationships, is that they are in the past.  And one day, in the present, you can find the happiness you didn’t back then.  Like me.  I know this will be a great marriage, because Lisa and I aren’t getting uptight about the wedding.  We agree on just about everything, and compromise on everything else without issue.

And that’s the measure that I see as figuring out what is the best in the relationship.  I’m honestly glad I went through those relationships in the past.  Because I know that even though I made mistakes, I knew I did the right thing.  In those relationships, getting married came up, but I was always the first to say, “This relationship isn’t marriage material yet.”  Or at least something to that tune.  A major thing I learned was seeing the signs that something wasn’t quite working out.

And this one, those signs aren’t there.  This is working out, and as we are getting married...in exactly 47 hours after this blog post goes live, I can see how well its going to work out.  There’s something amazing about being truly happy, and not having any reservations at all.  For the first time in my life, I’m not struggling to keep love, or to stay in love, or against someone who is destroying the relationship with their actions.  I’m truly just enjoying the ride, with my perfect partner.

Life with Lisa Bonser has already been the greatest time of my life.  Here’s to long life, and happiness with my new wife! *raises a glass in toast*